Ventriloquist Dummies and Self-Realization

Yes, you read that title correctly. Believe it or not, the two subjects do collide together here today — and by collide, I actually mean more like a train wreck.

You see, the other day I realized where my morbid fascination with and general fear of creepy dolls originated.

My father was a magician (in addition to a host of other really neat things, but that’s another blog).

Magicians tend to have some unusual items lying about their houses. In this case, when I was very young, my father had a ventriloquist dummy. I’m not really sure why he had it; he didn’t use it in his magic act or anything. I think it may have been one of the many interesting things which he had from when he was younger and just starting out as a performer.

Anyway, I remember when I was really little — say 4 or 5 years old — and my dad brought his ventriloquist dummy out to show me. I was thrilled! I thought it was real, and it never even occurred to me how creepy the thing was. I dragged my poor father, attached to the dummy, around all over our home, showing my new friend every toy and everything else I could think of.

What my parents do not know is that when my dad took the dummy off of his arm and put him back into the plastic bag to be hung safely in the back of a closet, I suddenly realized that not only was that thing not a real person, but it also occurred to me that it had a really disturbing face. And that it was stored in a bag. Hanging in the closet.

I was always afraid and fascinated after that.

Have you ever googled ventriloquist dummy images? If not, you’re missing out. The collection out there is astounding and amazing. For example, The Amazing Lester’s mugshot:

Thus proving that these things actually do go on crime sprees without the need for assistance from the ventriloquist.

Or what about this bunch:

Let’s just all take a moment for that to sink in.

Yeah. So now you know how ventriloquist dummies and self-realization can go together.