We get a ton of marketing calls.
You name it, they are trying to sell it to us, or solicit donations from us, or give us free trials of whatever it is.
For a long time, I ignored the calls. If it was not a number on caller ID that I recognized, I simply would not answer… until yesterday.
It suddenly occurred to me that they were wasting my time, so why not waste theirs?
And so, I now bring to you a riveting new series entitled “Don’t Call Me“.
Yesterday’s call sounded very important when their name was announced on caller ID. “Call from Safety Alert. Call from Safety Alert.”
Heck, if they’re alerting me about safety, I really better answer that one!
I had to listen to this long recorded spiel about how it’s Diabetic Awareness Month and that I qualify for a free blah blah blah. Finally, though, I was rewarded for making it through the entire recorded message. “If you’re interested in how Safety Alert can help you, please press one.”
Oh, you better believe I’m interested! I mashed down on 1 immediately and was out on hold for a good thirty seconds.
“Good afternoon, are you ready to learn how Safety Alert can keep YOU safe?”
My response? “OOH MY GODDD YESSSSS, PLEASE KEEP ME SAFE!!”
I cannot imagine why, but they immediately hung up on me. I was rather disappointed, because during my time on hold, I had the opportunity to come up with a long story about how I needed them to keep me safe because I have this evil gnome named Harold who follows me about causing chaos and disorder.
Oh, well. Another time, perhaps. I can only hope I will remain safe without their help until then.