Don’t Call Me: Episode 2

Yesterday I had the distinct honor to receive a call from Donald Trump himself. 

He informed me of how evil all his opponents are, and that the only way to overcome such evil is for me to donate to his campaign (apparently his $4.5 billion net worth isn’t enough — he needs cash from struggling families like mine to really make it happen).

Never fear, Donald. If your operator can make it through my shenanigans, she will have earned a decent donation from me.

Operator: “Can we count on YOU for a donation in the $100-$200 range?”

Me: (In bad Russian accent) “You take Ruple?”

Operator: “I’m sorry, what?”

Me: (Louder) “You take RUPLE?”

Operator: “I don’t think we can take foreign money…”

Me: “Yes, money! Ruple is money! You take my money to defeat the evil Hillary! I help, but only I have Ruples!”

Operator: “No, you don’t understand. I cannot take Ruples as a donation.”

Me: “I have many Ruples. You take.”

Operator: “I am ending this call now, because I think it is a prank call.” *

Me: “No! No, no! Is discriminatory you no take my Ruples!” **

(Dial tone)
* I fail to see how this can be labeled as a prank call. They called me, I merely answered and engaged in the manner of my choosing.

** I hate all candidates equally (especially when they call me on the phone) — this blog is distinctly not pro-either-one. 

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