Shaolin Deadly Kicks and Custard Pie

The Wee Little Miss has gone off to visit her father’s family for Christmas.  She left this afternoon.

What is a mother to do all on her own?

I’ll tell you:  Watch Kung Fu films.  I figure it’s been forever since I got to watch one and write about it, so here we go!

As a side note, being that I am the only adult here, I just made a custard pie.  FOR DINNER.

Pie
It was delicious, by the way.

 

Anyway, NOW here we go.

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Shaolin Deadly Kicks

The basic story:  A gang of thieves broke into a rich guy’s house to steal a treasure map, and killed him. Because they committed murder, the group attracted too much attention to themselves, and so decided to divide up the map and wait three years before attempting to find the treasure.  Three years later, a policeman has been tracking down the gang (called The Eight Dragons), and is dead set on collecting the map pieces and arresting (or killing) them one by one. He manages to do just that, and despite being stabbed whilst fighting one guy, he is rescued by a girl he had rescued from some thieves early on in the story. Only… it turns out her father was the leader of the gang to begin with! His daughter has fallen in love with the man she’s saved… what will happen in the end??

I have to say, I enjoyed this one! Entertaining fighting throughout. It’s like a weird reunion of all the most memorable actors I’ve seen in various Kung Fu flicks — one of the villains is the same guy who was in Tiger and Crane Fist (if you’re unfamiliar with Tiger and Crane Fist, it is the original film that Kung Pow was based on, and the actor I’m talking about was “Betty” in that).

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Betty.

Additionally, it has the big guy who was the “martial arts teacher” in Monkey Fist Floating Snake.

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Cutie Pie from Monkey Fist Floating Snake.  I don’t know his name.

Plus, the girl who fought in the tournament from Master of the Flying Guillotine is in it, too!

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Tournament Girl 

Not to mention it has a storyline that is not only interesting, but also has a few twists and turns in it, as well — AND it manages to make sense. All in all, impressive and entertaining.

 

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Fun With Kung Fu Films: Kung Fu Arts

I very much enjoy watching old Kung Fu films. The more ridiculous the story, the better, so far as I am concerned.

Bearing in mind my strict high standard of movie watching, I found the storyline of Kung Fu Arts to be highly entertaining, if slightly disturbing.

You see, a rebel accidentally hit the princess with a poisoned dart whilst trying to hit his attacker. The emperor’s doctors were unable to identify the poison, and so were unable to come up with an antidote. As a last-ditch effort to save the princess’ life, the emperor issues a decree: anybody who could save the princess from the mystery poison could have her hand in marriage.

What happened next is nothing short of baffling. A monkey showed up with the antidote. Desperate, the emperor allowed the monkey to tend to the princess:

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The monkey doctor on his way into the palace.

After some very serious discussion with the monkey, it was decided to let him try to save the princess:

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He must’ve been very convincing.

The monkey even goes so far as to check her temperature:

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And finally, you guessed it — the king allowed the monkey to marry the princess:

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I won’t ruin the rest of the story, on the off chance you’d like to view this gem for yourself. 😉